Cry for you

[stripedraccoon]

Title: Cry for you
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Rating: NC-17
Length: One-shot / 2343 words
Genre: Drama, angst, smut
Summary: Nino loses control. Ohno certainly doesn't mind.
A/N: This is the unplanned part 2 of "keeping it together".

“Fuck me,” Nino gasps desperately against Ohno’s ear, whimpering as lips ghost over his slightly sweaty neck, kissing, sucking, feeling so rightagainst his skin. “Please, Satoshi,” he begs, not even caring for his pride, “Just…” Just this one time.

Ohno is so hard against his thigh, panting heavily, shivering from arousal as his sun-kissed hands slide down Nino’s pale, naked torso, playing with his pink nipples, his fingertips brushing along his sides, leaving goose bumps.

Ohno doesn’t answer Nino’s plea, but within a matter of seconds he has unbuttoned and unzipped Nino’s pants, pushing them down with his underwear together, and the younger man is impressed at how coordinated every single one of Ohno’s movements is even when he is drunk as fuck.

“Hnnnnnino,” Ohno mumbles barely audibly into Nino’s cheek, breathing against it, his warm hands all over Nino’s body, touching, groping, claiming. Nino’s hands are shaking instead, and for a moment he can’t do anything. Ohno’s hands feel heavy and possessive on his body, rough, strong, no different from the way he would painfully grab Nino’s head by the hair during a blowjob, not caring about Nino’s feelings at all during the process.

Nino cries out when Ohno bites down too tightly on a spot at the crook of Nino’s neck, and he isn’t sure if Ohno is drawing blood or not. But both of them are too drunk to care, their bodies sweaty and sticky against each other—Nino is already completely naked, and Ohno has too many layers of clothes on for Nino’s drunk brain to count. Either way, it’s too many, and Nino’s uncoordinated, stumpy fingers reach out, trying to unbutton the first few buttons of Ohno’s shirt.

Ohno’s hands are faster than Nino’s own, and within two quick movements, his hands are pinned against the wall Ohno is pressing him against, and his whole body is lifted up, being held up by both Ohno’s strength and the wall behind him.

“Don’t,” Ohno whispers, and even though his voice is dark and rough from alcohol, he sounds sober for a moment. Don’t take my clothes off, Nino’s brain faintly echoes, completing Ohno’s sentence. Don’t, because it doesn’t belong to you.

Nino bites his lower lip, and for a second all the pain comes back. Usually when he is drunk, he manages to forget about Ohno, about his never-dying love for this man and about the pain that comes with it because Ohno is in the same never-dying love with someone else.

But usually he isn’t alone with Ohno when drunk, and usually they aren’t just about to have sex, both of them way too drunk to stand straight, Ohno smelling so deliciously of a mixture of his natural scent and beer.

But it seems even alcohol can’t make Ohno forget for one second that Nino isn’t the person he loves.

I’m enough for this though, Nino thinks, feeling both relieved and bitter, his dick rock-hard and pushing against Ohno’s stomach. If this is the only chance I’ll ever get, I’ll take it. You’ll hate me, Oh-chan, won’t you. I should be sorry about this. But I’m not.

“Fuck me, Satoshi,” Nino begs again, his cheeks hot and red from the close body contact, and Ohno reluctantly lets Nino’s wrists go again in order to open the fly of his pants, as quickly as he had undone Nino’s earlier. It’s a bit harder what with keeping Nino lifted up, but he manages surprisingly easily.

When Ohno is done and heat is poking against Nino’s ass, the younger man shivers; he has imagined this so often, and his whole body craves for it. Feel Satoshi close, feel the older man fucking him hard and fast, moaning Nino’s name, touching him, kissing him… Nino swallows and wets his lips, looking down to Ohno hungrily.

“Open your mouth,” Ohno orders as he looks back at Nino, his eyes glassy. Nino does so immediately and bends forward slightly too, secretly hoping for a kiss—a real one, long since overdue.

Ohno pushes two fingers into his mouth instead, but even when Nino understands what for, he is too out of it to care. It hurts, of course, but he is used to worse disappointment than that, and so he just sucks on those long, slim fingers, moaning around them, his tongue slicking them up with saliva. He never once looks away from Ohno through the whole process either, and by the looks of it, Ohno has a hard time not to simply fuck Nino raw on the very spot.

Ohno doesn’t give Nino much time, and just when the fingers are conveniently wet he pulls them out of Nino’s mouth again with a slight plop, his hand directly going down to Nino’s ass, and without much preamble, he pushes in—both fingers at the same time, moving inside of Nino’s body instantly.

Nino trembles at those sudden movements, his body tensing up harder than expected. He is drunk and the alcohol relaxes his body and mind more than usually, but Ohno is (un)surprisingly rough, even here, and faintly, Nino thinks about how much sexual experience Ohno can possibly have with men.

Or maybe he simply doesn’t care enough, like always. Nino bites his lower lip and looks away, his eyes slightly teary from both physical and mental pain. The fingers are uncoordinated and the scissoring movements within him feel like they are breaking him apart. But maybe this is the price Nino has to pay if he wants to be as close to Ohno as possible.

And it will be worth it, Nino knows, his cock still hanging heavily between their bodies. Ohno moans again, his face buried half in Nino’s chest, half against his neck, his pouty lips sucking on every single inch of skin they could possibly reach. Nino is steadying himself on Ohno’s shoulders instead, the touch bitterly reminding him of the fact that Ohno still has all of his clothes on and doesn’t plan on taking them off anytime soon.

Ohno’s fingers are moving frantically by now, making Nino roll his eyes back into his head, and his ass starts feeling numb; the pain slowly subsides.

“Enough?” is all he can hear Ohno question impatiently, and Nino nods, not wanting to let Ohno wait, knowing it won’t get any better anyway.

We’ll be making love now, Nino tells himself repeatedly, his heart beating hard and fast in his ribcage, not stopping, his body trembling with anticipation, we’ll be making love—Satoshi will be making love to me, after all those years…

Ohno withdraws his fingers, now grabbing Nino’s bony, naked hips tightly, and pushes himself in in one fluent go.

Nino screams in pain. It hurts so much; it feels like Ohno is tearing him apart, and the lack of proper preparation surely doesn’t help. Nino trembles, the burning pain rippling through his body like nothing else, and he desperately clings to Ohno, leaning forward, biting into his own wrist for compensation. Tears are dwelling up in his eyes too, but he tries to frantically blink them away, to accommodate himself around Ohno, to relax.

Ohno trembles too, but rather out of sheer horniness than out of pain, his grip around Nino’s hips so tight it is probably bruising him.

“Relax,” is Ohno’s only response, calm and drunk and dark, “I… can’t hold… back… f-for long…”

Nino nods, he nods, nods more, desperately against Ohno’s shoulder, his body sweaty, his heart almost exploding. Come on, calm down, he tells himself over and over again, Satoshi is inside of you, he is so close, so so close, you can feel his heartbeat. How can you not relax to make this be a perfect experience? Calm down, Nino, calm down—

Nino hasn’t moved for several seconds after this, and Ohno takes it as a sign to finally move, withdrawing himself almost completely only to ram himself up again all the harder, making Nino scream for a second time, shaking his petite form completely.

But Ohno doesn’t seem to care, and while a couple tears run down Nino’s cheeks, from pain, Ohno starts fucking him in a steady rhythm, hard and fast against the wall, pulling Nino close against his own hips. He is groaning darkly into Nino’s chest, making him shiver, and even though it still hurts and burns, Nino starts enjoying it.

It’s Ohno after all—how could he not enjoy it when Satoshi is so close, embracing him with his whole body, holding him up, being in him—he feels so hot in Nino, moving in and out…

Nino can’t say when his screams turn from painful to aroused, but soon enough it happens, and Nino tremblingly wraps a hand around his own hard, leaking cock, starting to wank himself off hastily. Ohno hasn’t touched him once, and somehow Nino knows Ohno won’t anytime soon, either.

His legs are tightly wrapped around Ohno’s narrow hips, and like that Ohno manages to fucks him even better and more deeply. Satoshi is moaning, darkly, throatily against Nino’s neck, making Nino able to feel the other man’s wet lips and warm breath against his skin, and when Ohno finds an exceptionally sensitive spot within his body, Nino loses it and comes all over his hand, screaming again, full of pleasure this time.

“Satoshi, Satoshi… Satoshi…” he hears himself moan and whimper incoherently, and it takes all of his strength no to confess his love right here and then as he is riding out his orgasm, his body strongly spasming around Ohno’s cock that is still fucking him hard and relentlessly. Ohno groans out something incoherent as well, and then he comes too, spreading all of his cum deep in Nino’s body, pulling Nino tight, almost hugging him with his whole body for several seconds until his climax is over.

It feels warm and weird and dirty, and to some extent, for half a second, Nino is the happiest person in the world. The only sound in the room is the desperate panting from both men, and Nino clings more tightly to Ohno, exhaustion washing over his body. Ohno feels hot and sweaty, and it smells of sex, and Nino just wants to stay like this, being held up by Ohno, feeling his dick still in his body—it feels like Ohno is just all around him, and Nino doesn’t want this moment to stop, ever.

And then Ohno takes a step back and lets go of Nino’s hips, and Nino loses his grip; Ohno slides out of him unceremoniously and Nino can’t get a hold of himself anymore before he just drops to the floor, his teeth clenching when he hits the hard wood painfully.

Ohno is breathing hard as Nino is kneeling in front of him.

Nino knows; the situation tells so clearly after all. To Ohno, this means absolutely nothing. None of it all has meant anything.

And Nino still hasn’t received the kiss he has been so desperately hoping for.

Nino lifts his head a few inches so he can see how Ohno’s cock is hanging out from his pants lewdly. Without thinking, he slowly crawls forward, being so used to being in this position that he isn’t even aware of it anymore.

“Let me clean that up for you,” he says, his voice quiet and soft. Ohno doesn’t protest when Nino parts his lips and licks Ohno’s cock clean like he has done countless times already, and after that he tugs him back in without a word.

Nino slowly gets up then; he feels unsteady on his feet and his abdomen hurts slightly, but he doesn’t care. He takes Ohno by the hand, both of them still drunk even though Ohno is probably way more out of it than Nino is. Nino leads them both to the bedroom, making Ohno lie down there, and crawls under the blanket on the other side of the bed, absent-mindedly wiping his cum-covered hand clean on the sheets.

They don’t touch on the bed, and Nino silently curls up, turned away from Ohno, reality slowly sinking in.

“Thanks,” Ohno mumbles, and Nino knows from the way his voice sounds that Ohno is already halfway asleep, “for the fuck.”

It is then that it hits Nino full-force, and his stomach convulses painfully, his heart throbbing, hurting, breaking. Nino had known it before already—of course he had, but hearing it from Ohno himself is something different: They hadn’t made love; they had fucked.

Nino squeezes his eyes shut, but it is too late. Tears slowly and silently start running down his cheeks, his body tenses up incredibly and his face scrunches up in unbearable pain; he barely manages to press both hands tightly against his face in order to suppress any sobs. He loves this man so, so much, and his body is breaking under it; his body just can’t bear the amount of love he feels towards Ohno anymore, he cannot hold it in anymore. Nino knows he is on the verge of breaking apart, of not being able to keep it together anymore.

I love you, I love you, I love you, Nino desperately thinks, his palms pressed so strongly against his face that it hurts, tears running down where his hands don’t press down, along his neck, vanishing in the bed sheets. I love you, I love you, I love you—

Nino turns around abruptly, overcoming the gap between Ohno and him, and hugs himself tightly against the older man, burying his face in the crook of Ohno’s neck, his mouth pressed against the collar of Ohno’s shirt. His hand automatically searches for Ohno’s own, and he clutches it, tightly, his body trembling.

Nino is still crying, and it feels awful because he isn’t used to crying, and his head hurts from all the alcohol and shedding tears.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he whispers out loud now, desperately, against the soft skin of Ohno’s neck, sobbing quietly. “Satoshi, I—I—“

And then he notices.

Ohno is already asleep.